Erin Boag will certainly have her work cut out.

I wonder what ballroom-enthusiast-turned-cabinet-minister Vince Cable is really like on the dancefloor? Will he, on the Christmas special of "Strictly", be a twinkle-toed, terpsichorean genius? Or will his footwork and lines be as clunking and shapeless as a Lib Dem activist's winter wardrobe?

Not that I'm one to judge. Until the BDC introduce an indie-dance section (feet together, love, keep the head-bowed, WATCH YOUR ARMS DON'T LEAVE YOUR SIDES DURING THE DOWN BEAT ACCENTS!), it is unlikely to be worth my while squeezing into a sequinned jumpsuit at the Winter Gardens. 

I just wouldn't feel able to commit to the choreography. But, Vinny, my friends, also has commitment issues.

As I type, students, schoolchildren and various aggro-seekers are out on the streets, keeping warm in the snow by shouting about tuition fees (and offering up suggestions for viable alternatives*) and scampering away from the police. 

(I don't mean to be too dismissive here. I'm just jealous that student protests in my day were far, far duller affairs. On one occasion I was even a steward on some NUS march against something, wearing a reflective waistcoat and showing due concern when a fellow undergraduate started getting a bit provocative with a placard. I mean, that's nothing to tell the grandkids, is it?)

Anyway, as the Secretary of State for Business, Innovation & Skills, the person most directly responsible for the piece of legislation that is inspiring all this running about is one Rt Hon Dr Vincent Cable MP.  Whatever your views on increased tuition fees, then, you may not feel it unreasonable to expect that he will be voting for it himself. In fact, to even entertain the thought of not taking a stroll through the aye lobby on this one would be, to say the least, a most courageous decision on his part:


 

Oh.  

On Sky he went a little further, having the good grace to admit that he does at least have a "personal inclination" to vote for the policy.

Let's hope he does not bring such attitudes to his yuletide rhythmic lark with Kiwi hoofer Erin Boag. For it is one thing to duck responsibility for unpopular fiscal measures; quite another to place the onus on your dance partner for a cross-body lead.

*Not really.

Is this the worst political metaphor ever?

Political wit is a tricky business and one of that discipline's subsets is especially difficult: the employment of a memorable metaphor or similie to illustrate a particular controversy.

In 1992, Dennis Skinner sought biblical inspiration for his assertion that sterling rejoining the ERM would be akin to 

"a dog returning to its vomit".

I seem to remember the leader of the then-MSF union, Roger Lyons, describe Michael Portillo's 1994 promotion to Secretary of State for Employment as 

"like putting Dracula in charge of a blood bank".

Simple points, well made. But cliches, even then. Which is perhaps why politicians attempt new comparisons in the search of that sharp piece of argument-closing rhetoric.

Do think it through first, though. Otherwise you end up, like Lib Dem Treasury Spokesman Lord Oakeshott, saying this sort of thing (of the appointment of Bob Diamond as Barclay's new Chief Executive):

"you don't put the chief croupier in charge of the casino".

Err. Yes, you do. A chief croupier's job is, amongst other things, to make sure that all the gambling is being carried out within the rules. He or she will understand risk, probabilities and financial irregularity better than most.

If anything, we should be encouraging career-changes from The Strip to the Square Mile.